pot dealer

...I am not.
Yesterday I missed work and received my "final warming." Shitty that if my alarm doesn't go off at one in the morning I won't wake up until after my whole shift is over. So, in an effort to pay off some debt that I owe to friends, I took a course about how to deal pot. My roommates, other friends, and even some family have been telling me recently that the best drug dealer is one who doesn't do them. This really makes zero sense to me, how could I sell pot if I never have any? How do you meet stoners when you don't get stoned? The only way I could see doing this would be to have a client base handed over to me. Anyways, my drug dealer friend gave me some (a lot, really) of instructions about it. He has just recently moved to Ptown and is always trying to exploit my social capital and get me to deal for him. Figuring that I'll be fired from making bagels soon and will need some income, I took him up on this and got the Stumptown marijuana training. It took nearly two hours and was a real big waste of both his and my time. He used a chalkboard and told me about the differences between Indica and Sativa, between genotypes and phenotypes, the history of cultivation and hybridization, and all this information that I thought was useless to sell pot. I mean, if it gets you high right? Wrong.
The hands on portion of the training was just as fruitless. He sells three kinds of pot, each of varying quality and price and flavor: Pineapple, Train wreck, and Pitbull. He pulled them out of their respective jars and I studied them for the test. Apparently, besides phenotypes, the best way to differentiate pot plants, is by the smell, if you aren't going to smoke it. This, among other very good reasons, is why I can never be a pot dealer: I don't smell. When it was time for the test (yes, he tested me), I couldn't tell which buds were which varietal. Whatever, we moved on, this was a minor obstacle as long as I could figure out a way to tell them apart, like labeling the jars they were in.
The next part of the training was role playing. Now, salesman I am not, and long story short, I didn't make the sale. I won't be dealing pot anytime soon.